Relationship lessons learned (the numbers are by no means rating importance):
(1) Do not ever rush to marriage; love can be mere lust in disguise, especially when you are too young to commit and when that wears out you are screwed! It is much harder to leave someone than it is to find someone, so be wise, you do not want to refer to your marriage as a situation “you are stuck in” in the future. You do not want the two reasons you are with your spouse to be that you do not want to hurt her/him and are bound to them by children.
(2) No relationships are a waste of time, at the end of your journey, if it did not bring you what you truly wanted, you sure learn what you do NOT want. And you will be innately working hard to avoid the same repeats.
(3) When love leaves you in doubt, pain, insecurities,.. you are loving the wrong person.
(4) Someone that sticks by your side because she/he claims you are their all even knowing feelings are unrequited…leave, it will eat you up alive. It is not love when they merely think of their gains and not yours. The purpose of love is not to self-serve.
(5) Do not ever compromise yourself or your beliefs and values for someone. Someone who claims to love you and expects you to change, he/she will for sure fall out of love with you. Because in the end, they fell in love with an ideal within their minds, never you.
(8) Always keep in mind a vivid distinguishment between what you are getting and what you really deserve, you will reach your limit eventually. So as hard as it is, forget what you feel and remember what you deserve. If you are with the wrong person, you leave no room for the right one.
(9) Do not let loneliness drive you to anyone’s arm’s. Learn to be your greatest and best companion.
(10) Loosing yourself for someone you love is the worst case scenario, choose to lose the beloved instead. The longer you stay in a relationship with a partner that disrespects you, the more you give away parts of your soul you will never get back.
(11) Do not ever go into any relationship when you do not feel complete, highly esteemed, and sure of your character. If you let the other one define you or determine your happiness, you are asking for let down! Find what you seek within yourself primarily.
Our Ego’s always want outside sources for approval and happiness: relationships, money, positions,…you name it. The Soul on the other hand is your essence, it is present in you at this moment. You don’t see it and can only feel it when you feel love. It embodies our basic human needs: for love, for expression, for acknowledgment by others, to belong, and for emotional and physical security. The Ego however is clingy, shut-off, greedy, always fearful and confined. Only in the present moments of silence you choose to look within can you truly link to your soul, choose love only in your heart as well. Meditating surely helps.
(12) Remember, the whole point behind being in a relationship is to grow together, separately and as one. Marriage is not a ticket to simply pop babies. You need healthy environments and true affection and love to build a successful home for them. Children are not meant to link you together as husband and wife, you should already have a strong bond as one prior to ever considering them. After all, look at the many people that are married and yet not committed or respect their parents by any means. Marriage has become a contract to please extended families and societies and an obliged cage to stay in “for the kids,” how unfortunate. It is no longer an enjoyed companionship, soul union, and journey of two best of friends to growth.
Go to counseling if your relationship is toxic and you still to choose fight for it. Do not find escapes outside of home, face your problems with your partner, be honest, and work hard. Do not live in denial if the fact is that you have grown apart for good. Some things were not meant to be fixed. Nowadays, just because one is married does not denote love (well, it does transcend all social boundaries and needs no paper to prove it), nor does it mean the person is actually committed. Sadly. It is unfair and the children they “stay” in the marriage for end up being the ones paying the price later in life.
(13) It takes two to make a relationship/marriage work and it takes only the same two people to destroy it.
(14) This I have previously sad: true love is NOT a “need”. You cannot cling to people or relationships because you “need” them (supposedly out of love, although many have yet to learn love is not a need nor does it fulfill oneself), sometimes they serve a purpose and then you must let go (no matter for how long you have lasted or what you share)! Every person you encounter in this life is for a reason that will serve your growth. They can love you, hurt you, humiliate you, challenge you, or even do all that then leave you..goodbye can be a gift many do not see.
(14) The only way to make a relationship work is through honesty first and foremost; love as well, and that means respect; integrity; responsibility; intimacy; communication: listening, accepting, and understanding; friendship, and common principles and values. You need to feel that if you ever even thinking of cheating on the person you are with that you are cheating yourself.
There are probably a lot more I can add but this will do for now 😉