As in accord to the title, this post is about dropping weight. Except I do not mean no kilos or pounds, although dropping what I intend to address would indeed change your self-image and more likely lead you to happiness by a achieving one condition: freedom. And it is only you that can set yourself free. Of course, as the many other times I’ve written it on this topic, the act of letting go. What I am talking about is the mental, and so, emotional baggage many of people I see everywhere around the world carry around.
It is only normal we all have baggage, some us heavier than others depending on our experiences in life- but it is a CHOICE to drop it and let it go. Rather than going around carrying those backpacks filled with bricks throughout your life.
Life is a struggle, and it always will be. You will encounter many hardships for as long as you breathe.
Some people may seem they have it easier than others; they seem “perfect”, happy and got all they need. The truth is, they are all fighting their own battles. Some just choose to act like they are not. Others choose to conquer them and focus on the gift of life: TODAY. So there is no use in comparing lives it only hinders your happiness.
The greatest challenge is when you have had a difficult upbringing in an unhealthy home, because when you are a child the behaviors and treatments you witness become imbedded in your subconscious. You unconsciously imitate whatever you grew up seeing. Since you have nothing to compare it, and your parents being your role model not just as parents but as what and how a woman and man should be- your subconscious determines it as the norm to follow later in your life. An unhealthy home, although stable, can cause longterm damage to children forever if not dealt with. Of course it is much harder to change our subconscious mind than it is to change our conscious mind. I will go into that topic in a later post.
But yes, adding to that baggage of your childhood is that of your everyday life. We are constantly being shaped by our environment, people, and happenings. And as much as there maybe a reason to justify your extra weight; be it because someone dear to you has passed away, or your spouse left you, or a beloved hurt you, your friend betrayed you… when it comes to emotions, you make yourself a “victim” by placing blame. You hand your power over to someone else. Which is a path to living in self-destruction. So regardless of the somewhat valid reasons some may have; you must as well recognize that it is only weighing YOU down and stopping YOU from living the present of today to it’s fullest. It is a load of the past you will carry and not the people you blame! Same applies to grief, grieving is an essential process you must let happen be it someone passes away or even when you end a relationship, it is a loss you must grieve. But don’t get too caught up in grief for it has the same effect as blame as it keeps you tied to your past forever. The past and your already endured pains should never define you or your future, they only ever do when you grip to them relentlessly that they blind you from the light of rising every morning.
Personally, I carry baggage in the sense that I am constantly asking more of myself. I have really high expectations for myself in every way. I want to be more present, more giving, unconditionally loving and empathetic towards every person and situation, more spiritual, more knowledgable, more productive… I have an endless list! I realized that always wanting more from myself is becoming a habit that never ends. My friends always tell me “I don’t know how you are always working to be better when you cannot be any more genuine, good, and beautiful inside out.” Well, I never compare to others, for me it is a self-challenge. And where I live I am surrounded by nothing but fake resenting hypocrites, I don’t compare myself to those below me to feel better either! I only compare myself to an ideal for ME that I have set. The vital lesson being, I realized that these habits of self-pressure are also denoting at points that I am not good enough in the NOW. So to me this is my luggage to unpack and set free. Because now is all that matters.
My message here from my story is that even habits can weigh you down. Bad habits foster other bad habits. Missing your meals, being lazy watching TV, having negative self-talk… all those things they add up and contribute to a heavy and not-so-happy you- sooner than later.
Also, when you are not taking care of yourself and your health, it is a sign you obviously do not value and love yourself much, if at all. If you don’t take care of yourself, love yourself, respect yourself, and even, celebrate yourself with enjoyment- you can’t expect anyone else to. People will treat you how you treat yourself no matter how much they love you. And that self-esteem and self-love is not something you can fake- I can easily tell from people’s body language when they are faking it. Sadly, so many are! Even their smiles are dead, one glance at them and I tell their smiles are pasted to display to others what they do not feel and are not.
Back to the invisible loaded backpacks many walk around with, if you look around you will find that children never carry that luggage. They laugh without constraints from their bellies. They’re always jumping around and simply, free. Meanwhile people as they get older their laughs change; they become empty and altered to fake; they do it as a mere sound not coming from deep within. Sometimes even their backs hunch over a bit over time. You also see it in their wrinkles. People that have spent their past being angry and bitter do not age gracefully. Their faces are traced with their past emotions even if they are not feeling them at the current moment. Some days I can see their pains through their shallow smiles, if anything, their eyes are always empty and soulless. These people are ones that haven’t dealt with and let go of their baggage. Be it the emotions many resist that built up and instead live in denial, the old memories they replay over and over in their minds, and/or the mistakes and pains they dwell in of their past. It can be stressful and stress can sometimes kill! Even if it doesn’t do it literally, you will find yourself a living dead like I see so many today.
I know many people that would tell me “so what? Things could be worse.” And it is true, they can be. Or others that would claim their baggage as burdens they are responsible for and must bear regardless of it’s effect on them; they suck it up and they roam through life half alive.
I can tell you, that backpack you are carrying is the shadow that will be forever casting your spirit. It is the reason you cannot be fully present today. It is the reason your life is no longer exciting or joyful. And you will suffer much more when facing life’s challenges, everything will seem a lot harder.
It’s about time many of you decide you need to live lightly. Time to start deducting from that heavy load.
This starts by actually facing yourself within. Face your past, face your truth, face your pain,.. feel it all do not place any constraints. Once you have felt them, accept them. Accepting doesn’t necessarily mean you understand the “why” behind every occurrence either. Free yourself by simply releasing the emotions that weighed you down.
As for your past, the only way to leave it behind is to recognize the fact it can never be altered and start making your today’s count. Make your today’s better by being a better YOU. Meet new people. Fall in love again. Go out and be your true self, enjoy yourself! Make new memories. Basically, look forward to a bright future of priceless new experiences!
You have to realize that the bricks you carry are no longer valid or real. They only FEEL real because they are planted in your subconscious. Remember that feelings are NOT facts, however. Others happen to drag their luggage around merely out of habit. That starts with acknowledging that habit is destructive. And replace it with another. For the only thing that extra weight is doing is masking your reality and making it much more difficult to bear than it actually is. So do not let your past, losses, and pains define you- that is a CHOICE. Instead, see them as opportunities to grow, accept them, let go and free yourself.