I meet many people, mostly women, that deprive themselves from their own health and capabilities simply to fit a mainstream image for a ‘perfect’ woman. When I see an overly skinny woman with a little girls body almost, no sign of femininity whatsoever, or an overweight woman not caring what she puts in her body- I know their issues stem within. And they aren’t ones that can be easily resolved- particularly when these women are older in age, no longer just young girls going through eating disorders like almost all of us did. They are neglecting themselves. As women, as characters, as minds, as bodies, and as souls. That is certainly never attractive. Surely not when you’re a mother and should be a role model for your children.
Since I have had my own eating and exercising demons for many years of my life. And got to say, I feel so freed finally and proud of myself for not having eating issues from over a year now, my past disorder for 3 years before that being orthorexia. I will be writing a piece on overcoming eating disorders and living with a healthy, yet not obsessive mentality. It was a very long journey for me. A journey of trial and lots of errors. Where you are determined to reach wellness and balance no matter what it takes. For me it was hard- a very vicious cycle I thought would never end- mostly because I am very extreme in nature and my mind is always stuck in the ‘all or nothing’ mentality. Nevertheless, I didn’t care for the time, I acquired patience and remained determined and committed to finding my balance.
This Journey entails putting yourself first and trusting in one fact that your body will tell you what to do only if you listen to it. The major issue lies in the fact you are working AGAINST your OWN body!
Also, know that not one diet or exercise program is a blueprint for everyone. Each and every single of you has unique approaches to their body types, health state, and goals. Personally, I eat most of my meals and all my carbohydrates at night.. and before bed! I don’t gain not even quarter of a pound. I like fasting in the mornings, I am more productive. So no, breakfast isn’t my most important meal of the day. For me it’s dinner. Anyways, it took many years to know what works for my body, but certainly it doesn’t mean it will work with all.
Of course one must know what healthy even is to begin with! The journey redefined the word ‘diet’ into is a nutritional lifestyle, what you eat day in and out that benefits your health and body and not a quick-fix regime.
I’ll admit: it took me almost 21 years to truly love my body. And I mean love every single part of it for every single day I wake up till I sleep. So it’s been a little over a year with daily self-love and appreciation for my body. And what I can tell you is, it only truly happened when I finally learned some real self-love and self-respect. It was a journey of knowing who I truly am, what I stand for, and what I want in life. And being aware of the precious gift taken to granted by many: my health- could be taken away at any minute. It was a desire to be fit enough mentally and physically to overcome all the challenges and struggles life throws at me without getting too obsessed with food and exercising. It all started within. Nothing feels better than walking up every morning in love with yourself and loving your reflection in the mirror at all times.
For the younger girls suffering from eating disorders I will address that in a later post as mentioned. At a younger age, many of these habits evolve based on underlying emotions we lack, convictions implanted in our subconscious due to our family and/or false beliefs we have of what women should be and/or look like from the media. Of course with the women role models of today it’s only normal the majority of young girls have eating issues. Heck, their mothers suffer from them! But this piece is targeted to the woman that shouldn’t have gone into marriages when they have no self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-respect, and/or self-love- certainly having children is the worst idea.
It’s heartbreaking to see women become the tools to their own self-destruction. As a woman, you make your man. As a mother, you make your child(ten) and so the coming generations. You create the true men and true women with your thoughts, words, lifestyle, actions and habits. You cannot create a healthy environment to raise another when you lack self-esteem and value within. You cannot help others grow, be happy, or better when you are betraying yourself from your own wellness and strengths.
There are one too many women out there that claim their husbands as their ‘lives, world, and everything’, clinging to them… and their husbands are miserable, why do you think? It was never love to begin with. You cannot give or feel for others what you do not have towards yourself.
If you don’t respect yourself through your habits, don’t expect others to. First you make your habits, then they make you!
If you don’t love yourself fully, inside and out, don’t think you’ll ever be capable of loving another unconditionally and healthily.
It’s really absurd seeing people, particularly women live like this. How is it that you want someone in your life to treat you a certain way that you yourself do not? How is it that you expect someone to see what you do not when you look in your mirror? No one will take care of you, love you, respect you, show you care and affection, or see you as beautiful,… if you aren’t already seeing and being the person you want to be with in thoughts and habits. The person you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself! So BE the qualities you’d seek in your partner. You yourself deserve your love, respect, care, and affection. By treating yourself that way your self-esteem and self-belief will grow and shine into all areas of your life.
You are the one person that deserves your love and respect above all, no matter where are you in life or how bad a situation maybe. You are worth your time, care, attention, commitment, and appreciation. Most people spend their lives dedicating it to other people that they end up forgetting themselves. True love should never eliminate YOU, it should emphasize you! At the end of each and every day, you are the only one you have. And if you’re surrounded by the right people that truly love you, they wouldn’t approve you living any other way than putting yourself first.
Look in that mirror and be sure of your value & beauty. Tell yourself you’re beautiful.
Make time for yourself, foster good habits, for you become a product of them.
Do what you like, passionately.
Stay true to you.
Laugh. And often. Even at yourself!
Take care of your health and listen to your body.
Honor your body through eating clean foods and regularly. Do not starve yourselves. Don’t decrease needed rest. Don’t skip exercising because you are miserable. Don’t obsess about exercising either. Understand that food is meant to nourish you and there is no such thing as ‘bad foods’ simply opt for healthier options when you can and treat yourself when you crave with portion control! The key is balance and moderation with food, exercise and rest.
Treat yourself with the love and respect you deserve. Then you won’t have to worry about finding someone or being wrong relationships!
Also, busy is merely an excuse. You make the time for you and do not compromise it for anyone or anything. Make time for you: to cook your favorite meals, to go for a walk, to meditate, to get a massage.. This is your time to strengthen your mind, heart, and body. You got to treat your body like you would treat your soul. Treat your soul and self like you wish others to treat you. Notice in yourself what you want others to notice. Be kind to yourself. Reward yourself.
And never let anyone else’s opinion bring you down. You are God’s child, we all are. You deserve nothing but the best.
You body is a priceless gift, it’s your temple. Your body anyhow you treat it and yourself mirrors your soul and essence. Take good care of it and don’t go a day without falling in love with YOU- because this is the most real love you will ever experience.
The love of your life should be the one right in the mirror you look at every day. And it’s not about being superficial and external beauty only- but feeling good and looking good go hand-in-hand. Creating good habits and putting yourself and health first will make you a better person at heart. It’s no shame to be proud of yourself. When you experience self-love and self-respect you acquire strength.. you will be able to go through life and face all it’s challenges, why? Because you have all it takes: a true self-esteem. When you are confident of yourself you will see the world through different eyes. You world will reflect what you believe as you will attract what you are. You will not settle for any less than you deserve. You will always be spreading a true carefree spirit, never afraid to plunge for the better no matter the sacrifice.
Another vital thing women need to stop doing: stop comparing yourself to other women. You are unique. Beautiful in your own way, each and every one of you. You came into this life to shine, be happy, succeed, and achieve all your needs and dreams. So stop comparing. Embrace who you are. Embrace what you see, and if you don’t like it, take the right measures to changing it. Start loving yourself now for who you truly are and not for what you desire to be.
So now dear women, destroy what destroys you:
Your reliance on outside sources to feel complete.
Your need for someone other than you to be complete and feel worthy.
Your ‘need’ for approval from others, be it your husband’s or friends and family.
Your false beliefs about yourself.
Your negative thinking.
Your self-talk and unappreciative self-image.
Your bad habits.
Your tendency to put yourself last.
You must let go of who you are to embrace the possibility of change and becoming who you’re meant to be. It all starts with your mind.