Being too hard on myself and beating myself up for even the smallest of mistakes for me somehow came as a nature. I thought that being better and constantly striving for improvement meant always having to point out my “flaws” and “wrongs”. I was constantly seeking and addressing one flaw only to move onto the next.
True, being aware of your faults is a must to change. For it takes strength to face your weaknesses. It is only after you acknowledge them can you take the decision to change. However, what you focus on grows, especially in speech. Talk about your past, and you will resurrect it. Today this post is about self-talk. That little chatter happening in your mind, for some, all the time.
The important lesson I learned is to be compassionate with yourself above all. Watch your internal dialogue. Speak to yourself how you wish others would speak to you. Be your own best of friend, supporter, and mentor. Affirm yourself with positive beliefs, even if you have done wrong- you do what you know best at a given time, you mess up, you take the lesson, you grow, and you do better next time.
Be gloriously fallible! Part of being human is forgiving. If you cannot forgive yourself you cannot forgive others. You have made mistakes, so what? We all do! Your mistake don not have to make you, now that is a choice you decide and follow. For even our reasonings and logic are based on our senses, and our senses fool us! Things are not real because you can see and touch them. These are all illusions of the senses.
What is truly real in this life in fact if invisible. Keep in mind, love escapes the five senses.
A mantra I live by: “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” – Maya Angelou..
Even if I have been mistaken in the past, I do like to believe we do the best we can at that given moment. You may look back later on in life and wish you would have done things differently- but you are who you are today because of that mistake of yesterday. So let go of your regrets, it was your stepping stone to a better you. Let it all go; it is the only way to embrace who you are meant to become.
Great people leave no room for regret. You also must accept we are all no more than human after all. This means, you will be vulnerable, you will be weak, and you will fail sometimes. Just make sure you allow these times and their accompanying emotions to propel you to your breakthrough.
Your inner voice is a great guidance indeed, but when it is criticizing, it should not be to beat you up! The purpose behind self-criticism is to improve our behavior and to stop us from repeating the same mistakes. When you cling to wrong beliefs about yourself that are products of your mistakes and/or reach despair… you will not behave differently.
Stop falling prey to your own self-limiting beliefs. What you feed your minds you become! And what you believe of yourself, you attract in others and life. You all know very well your thoughts make your actions. So choose your self-talk wisely, make it work for the better of you and not the worse.
If you would not want anyone else to talk to you like that, you should not be doing it to yourself. Do not get in the habit of questioning your own capabilities. Trust me, everyone else will do that for you and constantly. Enough critics as it is, be your own biggest supporter.
If you must criticize do what I do towards myself: I make it valid and CONSTRUCTIVE. I recall I am only human and I accept my flaws. I remind myself just as I am so compassionate and empathetic towards others, I should be towards myself. Always aim to use kinder and more uplifting words to guide you towards the you you want and are meant to become.
Lastly, every time you say “I am..” in your mind.. you are creating who you are. So make sure you remind yourself how valuable, important, and amazing you are!
In the end, how you perceive others says more about yourself than them. So seek the roots to your perceptions and judgments in your inner world before anything!