To conquer yourself and maintain your own peace of mind at all times is the greatest success of self. And to keep your peace you must practice forgiveness and get really good at it. You have to make the decisions that you will control you own moods and not get easily offended. You have to not give a damn about pleasing anyone other than yourself, those that genuinely care about you will be by your side. You have to learn to be humble to yourself and be adaptive. This means acknowledging and accepting you will be wrong sometimes. There are some situations are just better to let go off and drop, no matter how roughly. You pick your battle, and again, not everything is worth fighting for.
If you want to lead a joyful life full of peace and love, you must become an expert at forgiving those that “do not deserve” your forgiveness. Those are the people that do you wrong, offend, and hurt you- be it intentionally or not.
Transform yourself into a person that is difficult to offend in the first place, someone that cannot be bossed around emotionally be it by others or by circumstances.
Choose forgiveness, even if it is hard.
Choose forgiveness, even when you feel you are entitled to hold a grudge. Always remember, it is never you that hold’s the grudge, the truth is, the grudge holds you.
Recognize that forgiveness does not mean you accept the words or action of another and telling them it is okay. No. It is simply about freeing yourself from the jail of hurt, self-pity, resentment and maybe even vengeful thoughts and desires.
Why spend time in a jail you have created yourself for someone else’s crime?
Why give your thoughts, emotions, moods, and day to someone else unworthy?
Why give them the pleasure of seeing their offensive actions destroy your essence?
By holding on to bitter resentment it leaves no one miserable but you. It steals no one’s happiness, peace, and wellbeing but your own.
Stop allowing yourself to pay the price for the faults and wrongdoings of others and embrace the truth and better feelings within you. Live well, healthily, and happily- that will eat them away.
The beauty and power behind forgiveness is the fact you DO NOT need the permission of those that have done you no justice to let go of the pain and decide to forgive! You do not.
Forgiveness heals your heart to be able to love again.
It gives you your life back.
Forgiveness gives you your self back totally empowered. This is a key point, you cannot forgive if you give away your power through blame.
Do not embrace the victim-identity and you make yourself a victim. Blame will never heal you. Own your wounds and cleanse away any injustices you think others have done to you.. that is the only path to a brighter future. Be responsible and take charge of your life.
Just as you should claim your happiness as yours and yours alone, reclaim your pains. Blaming someone for your emotional state, particularly if negative, only means you choose to give them an emotional power over you. If someone disappointed you, it’s your choice to not let that happen again. Be responsible, own your emotions, yes, even the hurt. It is yours and caused by you. It as real as you get. Accept it, own it, feel it, release it, and use it positively. Again, pain is a mean of your body signaling you to CHANGE. Nobody said it was easy though.
If you happen to be the offender and hurt another (whether you initiated the hurt or it was as a reaction), genuinely apologize; say and do differently. Even if it is not accepted, pray for them and for your own forgiveness. Leave the rest up to God.
I used to always think forgiveness should not be granted so easily and is for the weak. But today I realize I would always choose to forgive the person yes, because it is about freeing myself from another’s actions. Not like how I see the majority today do it. They say they forgive in order to settle because they have fears of the unknown, yet they still hold grudges within and do not trust. That is not forgiveness. I would forgive but that does not mean I would allow the one who wronged me in again to walk over me. I would choose to let go of them as well if they continually brought me more pain and unhappiness than peace and joy. The main reason I was so determined to forgive is a realized once I was mistaken that we are all human and I would want to be forgiven too. Also, two attributes of God is after all the “All-Forgiving” and “Most-Mericiful”. So forgiveness is certainly a quality to attain.
I will be posting another piece on the limit of forgiveness in relationships and marriages later, stay tuned 🙂