Since coming back from Tanzania my family are failing to grasp why I am always hopping around and laughing- sometimes hysterically- and for no real reason.
Driving on the highway in Germany we talked about why I have “become so weird and always laughing?”
I could only answer with, “A while ago I decided that I need to stop being the uptight adult with major responsibilities all the time and a strict face. I decided I need to embrace the child in me, one I never got to be anyways. You know how children are so light in spirit, they are happy for no reason, they hop around thinking they can fly, and they laugh for the sake of laughing? That is who I have embraced. I am not out of my mind or with some mental disorder I am learning to see this world through newly opened eyes everyday, getting lighter in spirit instead of being burned by my past and losses, and frankly, I think happy funny thoughts all the time so it is normal I burst out laughing often!”
My mum gazed at my brothers and I could tell they did not get a word, they could solely say, “Like you needed to sound and act more out of your mind than you already were!”
Then on one my train rides on my way to my best friend in The Hague, I sat in my seat so drained of energy (one delay, resulted in an entire day of train hopping). I worried about passing out from fatigue. In the seat in front of me were two twin baby girls- aged a little over a year, their mother seated beside them. The girls turned around innocently and shyly, smiling at me, craving attention. As much as I loved children I was too worn out to entertain them. Being me, I still could not resist and ignore them. A half an hour passed with us playing.
They were talking in an invented baby code language and barely a few words of Chinese mixed with the Dutch that they knew. I thought I would attempt at communicating, so I made up a language and spoke back to them. We actually truly connected. Next thing I know the mother turns around and tells me, “My girls love you, they want to play with you…you mind they sit next to you?” I said surely not! They were so shy at the start they kept backing off not comfortable being touched it seemed, which I totally could relate to. And now they want to be by a stranger’s side? So the mother brings them to me step by step I invite them over till one is on the chair next to me and the other on my lap and the mother went back to her seat and slept.
We started talking some more, the people on the train coach started waking up thinking that I must be insane to talk a language that doesn’t exist and with babies. Yes, we were loud. Children like to be heard as we all know. Before I knew it, the girls really loosened up and were all over me. I really came to see the power of intention and energy within; you can communicate through energy that is given from my your heart and soul, a genuine stare, facial expressions and body language and be understood with a pure soul.
I actually felt so at home among the girls, we started singing..making up games and we would burst out laughing. They also has queries, why my hair is long and there’s is short? Why I have pierced ears and they do not?
Then we would nod our heads hard, I would shake my long hair all over them and tickle them, as we danced in our seats. The girls were laughing from the core of their hearts, they broke out in tears from laughter. I had to control my hysterical laughter, I was telling myself “Salma the whole train is up and watching… You are supposed to be an adult… Laugh less or at least lower!”
I could see a bunch of Dutch guys pointing and chatting, a few other German men sitting in shocking silence, strict frowning Arab women, and an African family just all seated in sheer silence. But you know what? Slowly they started to smile.. and before they could control it they were laughing too! Many had woken up to scream at me to be quiet it seemed but all they could do was stare then laugh along.
Energy is contagious. Period. Especially when it is honest and real.
I wonder…why do so many of us wait to catch the good energy from others? If not steal it…why not own and share it?
Why do so many of us think being an adult or parent or important business figure or all has to equal a frowning strict closed up heart and soul?
Where did the little child we all have go, I pondered? Where did that cheerful, excited, playful, and fun child go? The one that loved running under the rain, asked all the questions he/she wanted, expressed his/her true feelings, hugged those they love, and admitted when they’re sad, go?
Can it be that we have grown up too much?
Although I may have never gotten these girls names, pictures, or contacts. I certainly will never forget them. I still have their loud heart breaking cries echoing in my mind as I left the train to catch my next. Although they could not walk there they were stumbling after me weeping and pushing their mum away, the mother’s face was full of panic asking “Why are you leaving now?” I could only hug them tightly and kiss them strongly and run.
As I got out, three of the Dutch guys came after me stating “You seem to be very good with and love children and obviously they love you too..” They thanked me for my good energy and spent the next few hours with me till the train after arrived.
What can you learn from children?
The next time you do not understand something, ask- even if you must raise your hand.
When you want to say something, say it- it does not matter the language.
If you want to be beside those that bring you joy and love- move and be beside them! Give them the energy you wish to get in return.
When you feel like laughing, laugh! And in many instances, just laugh even if you do not feel like it!
Cry if you want to, do not hold it in!
If you feel the need to hug a stranger you just met but feel connected to within, do it. Hold them and tightly. Know that it’s not the length of your knowing that matters but the depth.
Get out of that chair and away from that screen on your desk that you have been seated on and just hop around!
Angry? Scream your lungs out! Go run and once again catch the rain drops with your tongue.
Dance the way you want to. Dance the way you feel. Don’t care for who’s watching.
Get out in nature and make it your playground!
Be who you want to be regardless of society and set ideals.
Connect to that child you once were that saw the marvel in everything and anything and opened its eyes to a brand new gift that is every today you rise to!
I know I am a responsible, reliable, and emotionally mature adult regardless of the fact I am always smiling and I burst out laughing and dancing spontaneously. I think we need to refine being adults if that is the case!
If you happen to find me rupturing in dance and you cannot hear any music, just know the music is that of my heart and soul.
If you happen to find me hopping around in joy for no apparent reason, know that yes, I need no reason to let my spirit soar in gratitude and elate.
May you all seek lessons from those much younger than you in age.
May you all find and embrace that child within you.