They say experiences are what we call our mistakes. Does that make them any less worthy to have endured cause you screwed up? Well that is up to you to decide.
It is normal to regret when the bad outweighed the good in your experience and/or whether it brought you more pain than pleasure. It is normal to regret when things do not work out as you wished or had planned. That is the irony, some can be mistaken yet if they get the outcome they wish, they are happy even if they did wrong. But if they do not get what they want, they regret their mistakes and live in guilt and shame.
You cannot always get what you want and that in itself is a great blessing, if only you choose to turn your losses into personal gains and empower yourselves through changing to a better, stronger, kinder, more loving you. At the end, you will get what you need- even if it might not be what you desire(d) most.
Regret, however, is a choice. I simply do not allow myself to ever feel it, no matter how bad the experience. Every thing happens for a reason, for it is a determinant of whom you can become; every situation is an opportunity to formulate and practice spiritual principles.. whether “good or bad”. It can nourish your mind, heart, and soul or it can destroy them. So instead of regret, I find a way to learn from every experience, it is a choice. I ask myself why I was in that situation to begin with, I admit I did wrong, I face the truths, and I recognize I’m human, we all have vulnerabilities. I then seek forgiveness of self and others. I seek forgiveness from God. I accept and learn. I choose a better path of change and I guarantee no repeats. No regrets is the only way to move forward to the better.
Do not let your past cast a shadow on the light of the rising day ahead. Live in the moment today and outshine yourself, today is a new day 🙂
Experiences and relationships are never about getting what you want or accumulating good memories and possessions or having more easy days than hardships.. it is about: How you fought those battles day and night, what you discovered about yourself through them and in others, how you saved yourself at the end of it all, and whom it transformed to today. What do you know better and what would you do differently? Focus on that only.
The opinion of others on your mistakes, whether or not they forgave and/or forgot should not matter either. What matters is your own beliefs, the changes you have made after your lesson’s learned, and your own self-forgiveness through recognizing that you did the best you can at the time with what you knew. Do not keep yourself stuck in someone else’s resentment.
Know that we humans were made to be vulnerable and weak at points, it is how we grow. It is how some of us find greater guidance too. Sometimes to grow to the better and live rightfully, you have to do wrong and suffer.
Moreover, many people involve themselves in issues and lives of others that do not concern them, exaggerating stories and inventing scandals and gossips to give their empty lives entertainment! Contemplate the truth to why they are doing so..why would they like to keep you stuck in the past, try to halt your progress, and keep emphasizing your few mistakes? It is only because they are running away from their own wrongs.
When you focus on someone else’s shame, it means you yourself are covered in it.
Plus, the only reason someone would insist on bringing up your past is because they are intimated by your present self and future. Carry on. Your yesterdays have no say over your today’s as long as you don’t let them.
On a similar note: Some of the greatest sins in religions are indeed back-biting (even if you’re just a company sitting not participating), slandering, vain talking, gossiping, having bad opinions about a person and harboring hatred between him and others, and lastly- focusing on people’s faults and shames. We all have them. Focus on your own improvement, if you actually did you would not be concerned with the personal lives of others.
Know that sometimes in order to gain yourself and achieve unconditional self-love you must first lose yourself.
It is a painful process, you may even feel self-betrayed at points leaving your mind and blindly following your heart… but it is oh so worth it. The pain if used wisely will leave you beautiful; clothed in dignity, integrity and strength; the lessons you learn are priceless.
The beauty of life lies first and foremost in your perspective. Only you can make it beautiful and choose to see it that way. While you cannot change what has been done or a past you deem as regretful you can choose to acknowledge it, accept it, learn from it, let it go, and change to making your each and every coming day one you are proud of. You can spend every second of today in peace, wisdom, joy, and love instead of spending it in shame, fear, regret, guilt, hatred or anger. It’s all up to you.
Finally, if you are lucky enough to experience a great love in this life, you might as well be ready for a great tragedy! The thing is with all tragedies, love related or not- no matter however long you endure them- when it is all over.. you do not remember how you let yourself in them to begin with, you question how you survived, and you hardly remember the details. You also keep wondering and doubting if the storms ever really come to an actual end. But two things for sure: you never forget your mistakes once your lesson’s learned, you forgive to be able to let go and move on- but you do not forget so as not to repeat them. And most importantly, you come to realize that the reason behind the tragedy is the fact you are anything but the same person that signed up for them at the start. You will laugh (sometimes with eyes full of tears) at who you were then, unable to grasp how different you are today. You will wonder why you were so full of curiosity or excitement or foolishness and/or confusion that you would leap into a forbidden zone full heartedly.. you will look back and be amazed at how you ever said and did the things you did then knowing you would say and do differently today. But you will come to see the purpose behind the tragedy after all is that today, you are who you are meant to become.
Having endured many tragic afflictions in my life, I realized years ago that what you tell yourself about what happened could cause you more suffering than the happening itself. Be very wary of your thoughts when you are alone. Particularly the thoughts that consume your mind at night. Do not let your mind be a hurricane for all the wrong thoughts. Most of the pain we suffer is entirely in our heads! Worrying, over-thinking, analyzing, trying to figure out the “why’s”… none will do you any good, they will only steal your energy, positivity and strengths from TODAY. Release and renew your thoughts. Learn to anchor your mind to your body and to this present moment. Embody today.
Today, you are grown, changed, and totally washed away from your past and wrongs.
Today, you are better, you know better, and so will do better.
Today, you know your truth and will live to fulfill your purpose.
Today I am thanking God I did not get what I wanted at some point. Everything in life, even the greatest of losses, can be blessings. Not saying that blessings are pain-free either, for indeed the greatest of blessings to one’s soul and heart come with a lot of suffering and grief.
Regardless of all I have been through and the challenges I still face, it is a wonderful feeling to know with all my heart that my best days are yet to come 😀 I’m shining now! But soon I will glow so bright 😉 It is very empowering to approach life with the attitude of a true fighter, and love is my one and only weapon. I know whatever happens that it is a blessing even if it is disguised, that it is sent for me to learn, and I will make it through; for I can only grow to the better.
If you knew the value of your mistakes, what they taught you, and you changed, you would own them- not cover them up.
A mantra I live by:
“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” – Maya Angelou.
Even if I have been mistaken in the past, I do like to believe we do the best we can at that given moment. You may look back later on in life and wish you’d done things differently- but you are who you are today because of that mistake of yesterday. So let go of your regrets, it was your stepping stone to a better you. Let it all go; it is the only way to embrace who you are meant to become. Great people leave no room for regret. You must accept we are all no more than human after all. This means, you will be vulnerable, you will be weak, and you will fail sometimes. Just make sure you allow these times and their accompanying emotions to propel you to your breakthrough.
Through experience you will know when to try harder and when to just move on and not look back no matter how hard. But keep in mind, experience comes with overcoming new challenges the right way, which means doing things differently and just doing what you got to do regardless of how you feel. Do what is best for YOU and do not put yourself last. You cannot go wrong then.