For The Love That Lasts When The Relationship Cannot

How many of you went into relationships foreseeing their end before they even started?

How many of you were in relationships where the love was so intense and passionate that you were constantly on a roller coaster ride? You would break up but then one partner has to come back crawling to the other; you “break-up” a million times but in the end still do not ever part?

I do fully believe no love is ever wrong. There is no love you feel towards someone that should be killed because it cannot be, or because of their religion, color, martial status, age,.. or whatever blinding labels and numbers society has put. In the end, you are not judged wrong or right by what is in your heart (I am taking by God not the regular judgmental nature of society and its people. They should have no say or effect on your heart anyways)- certainly not when it comes to love- but by what you DO in the name of love. If you use it as an excuse to be weak and do wrong, that is the problem and sin.

I have always said love is not for the weak and cowardly, it certainly is not just a feeling you use to manipulate another person’s vulnerabilities for your own selfish satisfactions. Nor is it not your heart racing and sitting passively fantasizing .

Secondly, above all it’s doing the beloved RIGHT, in all instances. Sometimes this means loving someone from a distance and/or having to let them go.

But anyways, that is not how most love stories go down. We stay with others even if they’re no good for us. We continue to choose the wrong one, over and over, like helpless addicts. For those whom haven’t endured this kind of relationship, you wonder how the person could stay. You say you understand and won’t judge, that you’ve put yourself in her/his shoes; but the truth is some things you can never grasp fully unless you’re the exact person in the situation who experienced it with all your being.

Love for instance is the one thing that will always remain so mysterious no matter what someone says or writes to portray it; only the two in love can fully grasp its magnificence.

In the end, when it comes to relationships of love your greatest teacher- the partner that will shape you the most- will most probably be the one that brought you pain than pleasure.

Likewise, how we see life in black and white, and wrong and rights, until we say and do what we never thought we would, what we would previously judged. Then we say life is grey, and what is wrong or right is subjective.

It is important to be compassionate with oneself and others; one of the greatest spiritual lessons. But what you cannot fathom to your core, do not try to.

Do not judge, do not say you’d never do this or that or be like that; you are setting yourself up for your own traps later!

Now back to the topic, a rare one or two times in your life (I am not even sure it happens twice)- only if you are lucky I would say- a significant other will come into it and mirror yourself to the extent you cannot run away. They were sent to be your greatest teachers in life. If you are brave and crazy enough or if you were pursued relentlessly at the perfect timings till surrender, you maybe lucky enough to risk a love that will change you and your life entirely from there on.

I used to say the mind controls the heart and choose whom to love, oh I was so very wrong.

The heart knows no logic, it chooses whom it wants regardless of all labels, numbers, and statuses. You cannot force a true love out of it, just as you cannot force a romantic other love in it. Unless you learn to listen to it and let it lead you to the love and so life lessons it is yielding to; you’ll always have a battle of mind and heart and will never grow to the better nor master unconditional loving.

I also used to say the hearts only function is biological and to pump blood, I was even more wrong. It has all the functions and truth but primarily, it was made to love. Even if only for the sake of loving and evolving as a human.

This is what it is all about after all: A story to your own growth, truth, and purpose, and not a destination.

We always feel like we need to have things figured out and if it cannot be forever, we cannot enjoy the now. But in all honestly, this world need more lovers, true lovers! So love whenever you can and whomever grants you the blessing of love, accept it! Do not resist it for cause of your own fears, doubts, insecurities, or others and what they tell you. You never know where things can head in the future and the fact is:

It is not about heading somewhere with your partner but sometimes it is about heading somewhere with yourself, and you alone.

Letting go never was and never will be an easy task that you make happen in a blink of an eye, as humans we always want more and we are addicts of unhealthy comfort, but there is relief and faith in knowing that although a relationship has to be different and “end” that it does not mean that the inner soul connection between two, passion, and love has to or will end as well.

An end cannot change one’s hearts, it cannot take from what is real and true, and it cannot take from the two involved. Just see it as there are more stories out there for you to experience!

Death of a beloved can end a marriage yes (most spouses are so happy they do not have to know or take their life partners in the life after actually), just like contracts expire- but it can never end a genuine bond of heart and soul. Marriage is not eternal- most people that are in ones today are already in dead marriages- only true love is. Even when a loved one is gone you will feel them with you in this life and you are certain you would be by each others side after, without say or pledges to sign.

With true love, there is no goodbye, just farewells.

Your spirits are linked beyond logic and comprehension. And the Almighty knows best how your heart beats synced as one in the life before.

Similarly, how daily or regular contact does not matter at all when it comes to true best friends. I mean those so close to me that I consider sisters around this world we talk once a month or less even (depending on how life takes over) and we could not mirror each other in spirits and hearts more. Some I even do not get to see except every few years due to being at different ends of the world and it was just like yesterday when we reunite. That is a true genuine union that will infinitely last.

When you got real intimacy and a deep inner union; distance and time are no threat at all.

Taking and giving space between two loved ones can make love grow, as well as, responsibility for oneself when things do not go as planned or wished.

But the sure way to kill love (I have always said only man can kill it) is to use fear and put blame on one another for your own feelings and state.

And trust me, when its real you only kill the best parts of yourself with it, the love itself never dies but simply pain takes over.

It is a beautiful thing, truly divine and sublime, to love someone and not need to possess him/her. It is even more so when you reach a point where you are so confident and trusting in your connection within that you never have to doubt or fear it ever changing no matter how long or who we move onto in life. To learn to fully love a person without conditions and genuinely want to see them happy without you.

My wish for every single one in this life is to experience real true love, even if you do not get to be together forever. It is all about the journey anyways, not the destination. It is about the story and what you have learned and grown into, and not the “happily-ever-after” (which for almost everyone is none existent in their marriages). For to truly love, it is to live. It is the one quality we have to experience that is close to our Divine maker.

If you stay in the present with your all, take in every experience, be mindful in and cherish every moment- you would not need to worry if it will last forever or not, even if you both want it to. Either or, some rare things in this life were not made to last in this reality but within you and after this life, they will live on forever.

No marriage, no paper, no law, nobody, and nothing will guarantee you someone’s love forever but that person him/herself.

If you free him and he still can only love you, well you have got the truth to his heart in yours.

Reaching this with my beloved has made me believe in the beauty of another and in an eternal love. I was reminded the truth behind love and that the greatest gift in this life is indeed one another and the inner bonding’s we are capable of that cannot be fathomed unless by those who has experienced a love out of this world and realm. It has also made me much more eager and excited to be cut open and ready to receive true love once more, reminding me I will never settle for any less than the love I know I am capable of giving and receiving. As in, parting in peace and love has prepared me for a much greater new life and world.

Oh and a final thing to say that is so vital, I recall telling him from day one till years later, “If I follow your words and believe what you are saying with my heart, I will loose myself in love, and I refuse that.”

Here’s the truth:

I always say, love till your bare bones and madness.. but “DO NOT” lose yourself. Honestly, it is much easier said than done! But know that, where you lose yourself can also be where you find yourself; especially if it is the case of a first love. Not just any Self but a much bigger-hearted, genuine one! So love with your all- but when it is time to let go, let it all go. That is to have lived and loved truly!

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