As a passionate person who loves art and expression, it should come as no surprise that I love to dance. I also love to loose myself in music, it is my high. Dancing is an every day thing I can burst out doing on my own simply because it’s therapeutic release for me- like exercise but less intense.
I have spent my young years clubbing from the age of let us say around 14 till 19 years of age. The last 2 years of that period I would pull all-nighters for a week straight every day out dancing till 4am. Till I completely changed my lifestyle, and so self, and became a super early riser and very active. Going to parties would became an occasional thing to do with my girl friends just for the fun together twice a year at best since. It is one thing to dance in my room alone or randomly in public than in an atmosphere surrounded by loud beats and sound systems, others dancing, light effects and so on; so I thought I did miss it.. then I realized not so much anymore.
As an emotionally mature spiritual adult, I am finding it extremely hard to be around in clubs no matter how much I love to dance. Why?
1. It is very unfortunate to me that people need to drink (or even do drugs) to be able to move freely. For me, I can be “drunk” and “high” without consuming anything. It is called being a happy self-fulfilled individual who feels great in her own skin.
2. It is a total turn off for me how men need to loose their conscious to be able to come up to me in “confidence,” when under the influence. Otherwise, they are shy nobody’s staring at the background. Considering I am the type of woman that would walk up to anyone say what I feel, this is just a shame that people not only did not work on their self-esteems, but escape them with such lifestyles.
3. It is funny and discomforting for me how the ladies get all friendly and only after drinking as well. Links to the above.
4. I love meeting new people, but it is impossible to carry conversations in such places. Secondly, I would not want to converse with drunks or those not fully themselves. Lastly, I do not think I will ever find my people or dream man at a club (a book club maybe :P), no way- not that I am looking, but I hate being attacked by drinking males; the majority being scumbags. I am also someone who does not like having acquaintances I only get into purposeful relationships and conversations and I can find neither at a club.
5. The amount of people that forget to have fun and just pose and take photos. I like having memories do not get me wrong, especially when I hardly go out, put make up on, and dress up with my girls. But there is a purpose, if I go to a club it is cause I miss dancing in public that bad and not for show or to hook up. I do not hook up to begin with.
6. The thinking and intent of the men that approach us beautiful single women who obviously appear free, wild, and fun. Look, not because I can dance and lose myself in music than I can forget who I am, my values, boundaries, and lose myself with a person. Never was me, never will be.
7. The touchy men; do not touch me. The women’s stares; enough please.
8. The aftermath that I have to witness once the musics over; the fights, the girls passing out, the puking, the unconsciousness of it all.. Disgusting. Honestly it just makes me sick watching that, to me what is attractive is not someone who treats his/her body like a trash can for whatever the reason. I am not saying be a healthy freak like me and do not drink, but when you do; drink responsibly! Do not drink more than you can handle.
9. I feel way too mature for everyone whenever I go to clubs. Not a good feeling to go be around people that not only do not make me happy or inspire me, but make me bothered with their ways and advances.
10. This applies in my home country Egypt: I think one of the worst things for me is that the second I walk into a club I can never be anonymous and have people mind their own business like I do. It is such a small bubble that everyone assumes they “know you well” simply cause you went to school with them as a kid for a few months at best! Basically, just the fact you cannot be unknown, people have to “know” you for you to fit in the dance scene.
11. The type of conversations you can have in clubs are usually so void of quality and deepness. The questions I get asked when clubbing in Egypt as well, holly shit! I do not need you to tell me I do not belong in Egypt or ask how I turned out this way or what you heard or that you deem you know me better than myself when we have never even had a real conversation.. and all that. You do not really get to know people’s essences at a club, that I assure you. And it is something I allow, you would not know me if I never opened up to you. I hate sweet talking and compliments; dude I do not need your tipsy ass to tell me what I look like or how I dance. Oh and also: do not ask me for pictures if I do not know you well or hop into one I am in- I am not a monument to pose next to for show. Thanks.
12. I just feel too old for this at this point. I cannot pull all-nighters anymore, the music is sometimes too loudly polluting for my ears, I do not like going out at 12am when I sleep every day much before the time the nights supposed to start, and although I do not drink or smoke I get hangover indeed next day from the mind pollution from other’s, the late night, and the atmosphere of smoke, sweaty crowds of people, and stuffiness all together.
13. Showing up as rarely as I ever do, then the music sucks all night. No worse case scenario. I would have preferred they would not let me through to begin with. Like said, I do not drink or smoke or certainly do drugs so I cannot pretend to like the music when it is no good.
14. Guys, if I refuse to grind with you or dance too close and easily do it with my girl friends does not make me a lesbian. Just not interested in you and do not like being touched by even just tipsy strangers or acquaintances.
15. Although it is none of my business and I do not care but it is pity that I feel towards them and I will say why. The clothes some people wear, seriously? Just show up butt-naked better! Don’t get me wrong, I do wear whatever I wish and I show some occasional skin but never to the extent I have witnessed. Why? Because I do not need to show I am hot or sexy or reveal my body fully- I know I am and what I got. I only ever aim to look elegant, beautiful, or moderately sexy and above all, with class. When you love and cherish your body like your own heart and soul, you feel the need to not sell it all at first sight. You keep it honored and saved for only those worthy. Wear whatever you want but seeing girls I feel sorry for them how they devalue themselves to be living and looking as such.
16. As obvious, I am a writer, and writers love to observe and go out seek stories through anything and everything. After clubbing, I can only come out with anything-but-inspiring stories sadly. Just more traumas, disheartened that so many males are horny scumbags, and a loss of hope in humanity and its people lol.
Having said all this, I love a good time with those I love, but I think I’m keeping clubbing only to outside of Egypt and no more than once every 6 months as usual.