I’ve found that with age, although I may be getting stronger (emotionally and physically), I am on the other hand way more vulnerable to the energies around me.
There is so much I tolerated growing up from others and life situations generally that I would never even think of being near today, regardless of how I feel/care towards them. It’s not that I can’t bear it, but simply I have come to realize and decide a few things:
1. Once I truly achieved self-love (which I do believe is a never-ending, every day journey), I could not allow any less from anyone. I got addicted to feeling my best, every single day.
When you’re good at making yourself feel your best, there really is no need for the devolved or energy suckers- regardless of the close past you shared. You crave the ambitious, inspiring, positive go-getters that know the value of their self and life. You want to be busy living and loving, not wallowing in past or unimportant stories.
2. I was done being under-appreciated.
One thing the emotionally resilient, strong-willed, and confident will always battle is people dismissing their right to being fully human. Everyone will think they don’t need reassurance, moments to grieve, space and comfort to refuel, loyalty, or help. While it’s true that they can handle a lot more than the majority, the fact still remains the strong are self-built. One brick at a time. Life has forced them to tenaciously pursue the man/woman they knew they were meant to become. But deep within their big kind hearts, is a longing for the simplest of things so many people take for granted…
3. For years, I kept people in my life because I saw a light in them- even when they refused to see or follow it.
I thought that because we’ve crossed paths, and I had this magic about me that made others open up to me about their darkest of secrets, it meant that it was my duty to help them on their journey to their better selves. I listened to their troubles with my heart, felt their pain times ten, and dealt with their concerns like they were my own. I figured I could help spare them suffering I’ve endured…you know, make them skip the pain and just hand them the lessons. I’ve long realized that fixing/changing people is futile.
Instead, I’ve removed some people from my life, and given space to others. My focus became improving myself.
All you can do for others is pray for and wish them well. And give them the space to learn things at their own pace.
4. As you get older, your awareness of time really magnifies…it truly becomes your most valuable commodity, second to your health. My sole “regrets” have been time and energy wasted on wrong people.
I do believe one has to learn to make decisions according to their own health and happiness, and not that of others. It is false to deem this as selfishness too. The prime act of selflessness and goodness towards others, starts with that very treatment towards yourself.
Every time you are asked to choose, do not think of what others will deem, instead, think of what you love and of honoring yourself and your needs. You know yourself and your needs best. You must have your own values and daily conduct regardless of others, even those closest to you.
I choose to believe that right people will stay no matter what I choose, that is true friendship and love after all; to leave me free rather than handcuffed by their opinions and beliefs, to accept my choices even if they oppose them, and let me grow one stride at a time.
At the end of it all, life is not about being accepted by others, it’s about accepting yourself.
So long as you’re concerned with pleasing a crowd, you won’t go far. Even if you do “succeed” through the praise of others, what’s the point in going far in a world where the majority has not only not accepted themselves, but betrayed themselves within?
One thing I know for sure, you will never be good enough for anyone. From the very people that brought you to this world (hello parents), to whomever else. You can only be good enough in your own eyes and for the One who created you.
Of course when you speak and act be considerate of others and stay keen to do right, but don’t live your life a prisoner of people’s outlooks or feeling the need to include them in your life for whatever superficial reasoning, especially when they’re toxic energy.
The beauty of life and the power within you is do boundless when you set yourself free from others and truly realize that you can think, speak, and act liberally in accord to your highest purpose and truth, and in doing that, you attract those that deserve and appreciate your presence naturally through your life.