All my life, I could never befriend people that choose to stay the same regardless of the passing years.
I’ve always said that I don’t know how I could have ever been in or certainly maintained any relationships growing up because I continually broke up with myself and chose to change. Sometimes I go back to my journals or scroll through posts written on this blog, and I’m completely alien to myself to the extent I have no desire to continue reading (mind you, I find my then prose too definite and annoying haha). That’s the magic of using writing as a mean to comprehend and evolve; it’s a craft of measurement when looking back and never a self-dictionary.
I’ve also cut out friends for that very reason; they were static and fixed in mindset and only derailed my self-improvement (not that it was exactly easy to do).
I believe one of the most important qualities to being a better human and so, leading us to better relationships and life generally lies in a simple switch of mindset.
There’s nothing more powerful (or as instantaneous) than changing our thoughts and so perspectives when we want to change our lives. All it takes is some inner work and dialogue shifting.
Instead of a hunger for fitting in and seeking approval, create a passion for learning and growth. Get busy getting and making things better, rather than proving yourself or merely complaining and pointing out problems or flaws.
A mindset of growth and a will to evolve allows one to see an opportunity in every challenge; professional and personal, even welcoming failure without letting it affect or define us. I’ve often said, so much of what happens to us continues to affect us only because of the way we choose to recount it, or continue to altogether when it should be left behind. Be wary of your own self-opinions and narrations.
Fix your gaze on development, recognising the capability of growth and change, and watch your life transform. Don’t waste your time trying to hide what you lack or are imperfect in, work to overcome deficiencies and self-improve.
This mindset applies to everything.
A big step for me is applying that mindset to how I viewed my country, without an expiry date. I have lived abroad for many years, and upon every visit to Egypt, I struggled to settle in peace and belonging ultimately opting to leave yet again. I’ve often come back with a refreshed positive perspective, only to have others ruin it for me over time. Reality would sink in hard, left with many disappointments. What I found really helped was avoiding people with a fixed negative mentally and those plainly hating on their country, and surrounding myself with those seeking to improve it alongside themselves. When you’re thinking about an entire nation and country as big and populated as Egypt, you want to adjoin growth mindsets to thrive and collaborate towards bigger goals. It’s astonishing how when you begin to train yourself to view things constructively (hello third world country issues like traffic, trash, pollution of all forms, inability to walk freely as a female, etc.), you automatically begin finding solutions to almost everything, and if you cannot change it, you find the will to accept it and focus on your blessings.
It’s vital to seek places, experiences and relationships that’ll challenge you, not ones that’ll simply stroke your ego’s and caress your self-esteems. If we comprehended ourselves accurately, we’d find that several sides of us need improvement. This is a lifelong journey.
In relationships, one should not fear trying to change their partners and allow love to act as a forum in which two work towards the attainment of being better versions of themselves by being both educators and students.
Better lovers, make better people, which make better citizens. It’s all intertwined. For the majority that are successful, how they run their businesses is how they run their homes.
Everything in life- including our very selves- can and should be cultivated through intentional practice and consistent effort. Just like all ventures, put in the investments and daily work, and watch things prosper. And remember, the most important thing in strengthening character and reaping benefits is to stick through it when the going gets tough and there’s no sight in end.